My Greatest Fear

By Brenda (13 years old)

I have fears – lots of them.  I know I sound like a baby but that’s me and yes, I am afraid of the dark, being alone, the death of a loved one, ghosts, snakes, spiders and all kinds of creepy crawlies but my greatest fear however, is making a public speech in the English language.

There are three main issues that bother me when I am making a public speech in English: embarrassment, lack of vocabulary and proper pronunciation.

The foremost reason is self-diffidence. Being shy and easily embarrassed, I am often reluctant to start a conversation, what more to say if I have to speak to a crowd of people. The very thought sends me into a quick spiral of immense fear.

I am also very conscious of my lack of vocabulary and ability to speak proper English.  As a student who has completed her primary studies in a Chinese school, I am pretty weak in the English language. This linguistic deficiency deters me from conversing in English.

Having poor pronunciation makes it hard for me to speak in full and correct sentences.  I get so mortified when I stammer and stumble over my words.  The foolish assumption that my listeners are judging and mocking my fumbling speech further wears down my poise.  The fear of making mistakes affects me so greatly that I become excessively anxious and end up being unable to speak.

I had to give a presentation in class once.  My hands and legs shook so badly that I was hardly able to stand.  My heart pounded furiously against my ribs.  I was so overcome by anxiety that I broke down in tears.  Luckily, my teacher was very understanding and my classmates did not laugh at me.

The matter of eloquence continued to eat away at me through the years, so I made a resolution to overcome the phobia of public speaking on my 13th birthday.  I am now more willing to take risks in order to become a better speaker.  Overcoming my greatest fear will mark my personal growth in self-confidence and emotional maturity.

Right now, I can say one thing for sure – I am a work in progress and this WIP is going to have a breakthrough some day in the future.  So, glossophobia look out!  I am going to trample on you and gift of gab, here I come!

 

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About Katherine

Just a female who has time to do a bit of pondering and musing. Otherwise, I am on an interesting journey down the path to being a senior citizen.
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