The Life of A Farmer

Despite constant reminders, most kids still fail to check their work or write a few drafts before handing them in.  Here’s an example whereby a young writer was asked to work on her composition on “The Life of A Farmer” several times for it to take shape.


1st attempt

ImageMr James is farmer.  He is working hard everydayEvery early morning, he goes to the field and works.  He is very hardworking.

Last month, he dig the ground to make more smooth and before planted the seeds.  He planned to grow the tomatoes.  After he planted, he always watered them.  He was hardworking even under the hot sun.

His red and big tomatoes grew up fast.  They were juicy and reddish.  The size of his tomatoes were much bigger than the other farmers.  Many market owners wants to buy to sell in the market.

Mr James’ tomatoes were on the selling board.  Everyone who came to the market bought Mr James’ tomatoes at least one box.  They liked them because it is fresh and cheap!

 

2nd attempt

ImageMr James is a farmer.  He works early each morning at the field. He is very hardworking.

One day, he dug the ground before planting the seeds.  He planned to grow tomatoes.  After he sowed the seeds, he watered them.  He had to work under the hot sun.

His tomato plants grew up fast. They became juicy and reddishThe size of his reddish plants were much bigger than the other farmers.  Many greengrocers wants to sell his tomatoes in the market.

Mr James’ tomatoes were displayed attractively by the greengrocers.  Everyone who came to the market bought some tomatoes.  They liked them because they are fresh and cheap!

 

3rd attempt

ImageMr James is a farmer.  He starts work early each morning at the field.  He is as hardworking as an ant for he labours under the scorching sun all day long.

One day, he dug the ground to loosen the soil before planting the seeds.  He planned to grow tomatoes.  After he sowed the seeds, he watered them every day without fail.  He was like an eager papa, anxious for the seeds to sprout and grow into healthy plants.

The seeds soon sprouted and the seedlings grew taller on each passing day. The tomato plants thrived and flourished under the farmer’s tender loving care.  Before long, they  bore fruit.  The tomatoes grew red  and ripe.  They were bigger than those of the other farmers’.  Mr James plucked a tomato off a plant and bit eagerly into it. It was so juicy and sweet!  That day, many greengrocers came to his farm to collect his tomatoes to sell in the city.

Mr James’ tomatoes were displayed attractively by the greengrocers in the wet market.  They looked so fresh and appealing that everyone who came to the market could not resist buying some.  A customer was even overheard to remark, “A tomato a day keeps the doctor away!”

 

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About Katherine

Just a female who has time to do a bit of pondering and musing. Otherwise, I am on an interesting journey down the path to being a senior citizen.
This entry was posted in All Categories, Correcting and Improving, Primary School - Upper and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

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